Hasta Luego

"We listen to what hidden longing for a mysterious street
is in us: I have my life over there
my life that caravans made then went on their way,
and here I have my life as my bread's worth
and my questions about a destiny a passing present
tortures, and I have a beautiful chaotic tomorrow...

So let love be an unknown, and
the unknown a kind of love..."   -M. Darwish


Thank you to those who have kept up with me over the last two years while I've served in Honduras.  Your prayers and kind words have been far too important in my life to describe.

Ben Heath

Worth it.

Lots to talk about.  Not sure where to start.

I want to thank a whole lot of people first.  I've been having a rough time recently.  In my two years of working here in Honduras, I've felt so sure that this is where God has called me.  I'm not a person who sits around and wonders what God wants and what His plan is for my life.  I don't pretend like I know what He is thinking most of the time.  But He has not only shown me the road for serving here with these girls, but He has paved the road for the last 2 years.  I don't have much, but I haven't lacked anything.  This has been the first time that I've wondered if He is closing some of those doors.  It hurts my heart a little.  I don't have plans to leave nor do I want to leave at all.  But in these recent rough times, I've had so many people let me know they are praying for me or share truth from His Word or speak words of encouragement.  I would take that over a whole stack of cash right now.  Please continue praying for me.  I'm trying my best, but I'm far from perfect.

I taught a bible class this week with my older girls.  We talked about Philipians 3:7 and Paul's choice to follow Christ even if it meant losing many good things in this life.  I had the opportunity to share how Paul felt that the best things in this life were trash compared to knowing and following Christ.  I got to share 2 Corinthians 11 which is a list of the rough times that Paul went through.  He went through them because Christ is more than worth it.  I hope the girls got something out of it, but studying these verses reminded me that He is worth fighting for.  He is worth suffering for. 

I got to pick up a good friend from the airport today.  I brought a book to read on the bus ride back home.  I didn't get a chance to read but I laughed so hard I cried at one point.  Such a nice change.

My friend brought me some pictures that have been taken over the last year.  One of them in particular reminded me who I want to be.  I want to be family to these girls down here.

If you pray for me, please pray that God would continue to work in me.  I want my life to be an example of Christ's love and glorifying to His name.  Also, I'm stressed about a situation with my passport.  As I make travel plans over the next weeks and months, please keep me in your prayers concerning this situation.  The fuzz scare me on an international level sometimes.  He is good and He is in control. 

Throw me a bone here

Hey yo.  Long time no talk.  I'm going to write a short blog.

So, I'll update on ministry and school stuff in the next week or so.  Tonight, I want to talk about the Botkin Soup Kitchen and some help that I need.  There are about 9 children who come every night to the Botkin's house that I am sleeping at.  They like food.  I was making sandwiches, until I figured out I was going to be bankrupt making 10 sandwiches every night.  So now we do rice bags most nights and sandwiches on the weekend according to my budget needs.

Also, there is a 6th grader in the family who is graduating from primary school.  The mother has been by to ask me for a LARGE amount of money.  Well, large for Honduran single mothers or broke missionaries.  Its 800 lempira, or about 40 dollars. 

So here is how you can help.  If you would like to get some food money coming in for these kids, you can.  Its not going through the PTC minisry or has anything to do with our girls, but it is a need.  These kids don't have shoes or clean clothes which all of our girls have.  But I'll be here for the next 7 weeks and the Botkins will be here until Jesus comes back.  So if you'd like to help the food kitchen, let me know.

Also, the kid that needs 40 dollars.  I told the mother that I would ask some of my rich american friends.  I said that if nobody else wanted to help her, I would pay for it.  Which I plan to.  But, it is a large sacrifice for me.  This is me asking if anybody wants to donate 40 bucks so a kid can graduate.  Or, if you wanted to donate a little, i'll cover the rest.  Let me know. 

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  James 1:27

"that he lay his life down for his friends"

Stressed, so I'm going to ramble.  Its been a rough day.  Not frustrating, more difficult. 

I keep thinking of moments that I won't forget.  I met my first niece last October.  I missed being home when she was born.  She was a month early and I got there 2 days late.  I remember seeing the first time when she opened her eyes.  I met my second niece in June of this year.  I missed her being born and she was a month old before I could get back.  I remember hearing her cry for the first time.  It wasn't a scream.  She was sad.  It was beautiful.  I remember thinking about how my brother and his wife are going to take care of her when she is sad.  I won't forget these moments if I live to be a hundred.

I had another one today.  I can't explain all of it.  I picked up a girl who ran away.  I had been looking for her for several hours.  I was wet and cold because it was raining.  When I found her, she was wet and cold as well.  I thought she would be angry.  I thought she would run.  She was sad and asked me for help.  It broke my heart.

I think about these girls.  It makes me angry sometimes that I'm one of the best options they have.  They should have parents who fight for them, but they don't.  I don't know how to help them most of the time.  I commit whole-heartedly to the school, because I think an education is the best way I can help them.  I wish I could fight for them like a good father would.  I wish I could take care of them like my brothers take care of their daughters.  Some of the little ones, I'm old enough to be their dad.  I clean a 2 year old's nose every day when I get to the farm, because I think that a good father wouldn't let his daughter have snot on her face. 

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" -John 15:13. 

People keep asking me how much longer I'm going to be in Honduras, like I have other plans.  I'm not going to leave my girls.  Not for money or security or a profession or respect or a family of my own.  If I never amount to anything, but I can make these girls feel important, thats enough for me.

Update from the Coal Mine

Whew.  Alright, I'm not really even going to apologize for only writing about the school anymore.  My primary way of showing the love of Christ to these girls is through giving them an education.  So, thats what I do and thats all I can generally think of when making these things.

We made IEP's.  Or, the Honduran equivalent.  One of the big problems that we run into down here is girls that are behind with their education.  Sometimes WAY behind.  Sometimes too far behind.  It worries me because I want their futures to be better than their pasts.  So, I sat down with teachers and girls and we made 6 month educational schedules graphing their official accredidation program.  This was trickier than it sounds because each of the girls do their own work-at-your-own-pace book and are in different lessons. This way, we as the teachers will be able to hold the girl's accountable for their progress and be able to identify problems quicker before they get big.  It also helps us as the school staff to keep girls on a pace to graduate highschool when they are around 18.  I also included behavioral and educational notes per individual girl.  I did this so all of the teachers and future teachers can be aware of the reoccuring difficulties and be united on how to approach them.  This put me more at ease.  It looks good, but more important than appearance, I think it is going to be effective.

I've been teaching again.  For about 4 months or so I was only administrating.  It turned out good, because we had alot of organizing and planning to do, but I missed teaching.  I've been covering math for the 4-6 grade as well as the girls in 7th and higher.  I've also been teaching a Honduran history class and a world history class.  In the afternoons I teach an English class focusing on reading and writing and verb usage.  They are all going great.  I really enjoy teaching.

Teaching gives me a different perspective on what we can do better at the school.  This is great because we are really making progress through identifying problems and making the system better.  Its a little stressful though to only think about problems all day.  I'm about 5 weeks in on identifying problems, and though we are making headway, it weighs on a person.  I look forward to a day when I can focus on maintaining a great system instead of fixing things.  I'm not sure that that day will ever actually exist, but its a Carribean island in my mind.

A few things we need.  I'm focusing on math this week.  I could use all kinds of math books.  The way we generally do math is we use one book and put problems on the board for the girls.  Sometimes, the book is in English but the class is in Spanish, so a set wouldn't help.  I've been using Georgia Performance Standards the last month and a half to do great-sweeping reviews until Mr. Jeremiah returns.  But I could really use a book of geometry, algebra I and II, pre-algebra, and even some lower grade level text books.  I don't like alot of what I see here, so I would prefer some from the states.  So if you are a teacher, know teachers, and contacts with teachers, or have ever had a teacher that you could bother, give him or her a sob story for me.  This would be a huge help.

Keep praying for us down here.

Slowing down a bit.

I have a lot of stuff to talk about.  I have alot of stuff going on down here.  It feels good.  Mostly its all school things.  Now that we have things semi-under control, we're branching out, adding new education paths, forming IEP type plans for individuals, organizing discipline, setting behavioral and educational consequences,......the list goes on. 

But I don't want to talk about that.

Today was a great day.  I got to teach.  I taught two math classes, a Honduran history class, an ancient world history class, and an English class.  Thats the way I get to show love down here.  I operate under the idea that the message Christ and the love of Christ go hand in hand.  So thats how I get to show Christ's love.  I really enjoy the way He lets me show it.

I also got to administer the school.  I talked with my teachers and had opportunities to serve them as they do their jobs.  Its such a lovely relationship.  I never wanted to be the boss of anybody.  And while I'm officially in charge of four teachers, I try not to be a boss.  My plan is to serve my teachers and hold them accountable as they teach my girls.  They do such a wonderful job.  My girls are getting an AMAZING education because of the teachers who work for me.  Its beautiful when it works out right.  Today, it just worked out right.

Then after school, I went and sat in front of the kitchen.  For about an hour I held the most adorable 4 year old in the world and fought her away from writting on my shoes or stepping on parts of my body that would hurt.  I talked with a group of girls in Spanish for about an hour.  We talked about how I was going to start working out so I could intimidate their boyfriends when they are older.  We talked about the past.  About why I deserve to be called "Doctor" Ben (8 pigs, 1 goat, and 1 human delivered or facilitated).  We laughed about stories from the past.  Its strange that I've been here long enough to laugh about stories in the past told in Spanish.

Then I came home (or to the Botkins' home actually).  I stopped for some sliced ham on the way.  Before I could get my motorcycle cut off, there were 4 kids on the porch.  I made sandwiches for them and talked about what they did at school today.  After their sandwiches, we talked some more over caramels and gum while they poured dirt on my chonchitos (little piggies [toes....come on]).  I have wash my feet before going to bed. 

Its just been nice to slow down.  Everything is not perfect.  Tomorrow will be busy and things will not go according to plan.  But we serve a really good God who has it all under control.

Feet

Lets talk about feet.  We try to keep a working list of abilities of staff members at the farm.  Lists like, “This person can’t do vomit.”  Or “this person can handle blood.”  One of the things I’m alright with is feet.  Not in a creepy way, but in a soap and water kind of way.  One day last week, a 4 year old was saying that her feet hurt.  She had been wearing rain boots without socks and had rubbed a blister.  Well, there were a few layers of dirt and grime before we could get to the blister.  I felt useful cleaning that little girl’s feet.

The next day, I walked up to Mrs. Pam’s house to find Courtney outside looking sick.  I asked her what was wrong, and she said to walk inside.  Another little girl had been wearing her rain boots for a LONG time without socks.  She had popped her tootsies out, and it was rank.  I don’t smell very well, but it smacked me in the nose holes. 

A few days later, I heard Natali talking about a foot washing.  I thought this was purely hygienic.  In the past we’ve had a lice war where for several hours adults pulled lice.  I figured this was a battle against horrible smelling feet.  I was ready.  I was going to be Maximus Aurelia of slaughtering foot grime.  I was going to taunt bad foot hygiene as it was annihilated and made an example of for all of its friends. 

That’s not what was going on.

What was really happening was a ceremony.  We had candles lit, and benches in an L shape around where the staff was sitting with towels and water.  If this sounds strange, its because it was.  It was the last night that the staff that we’ve had for the last year would be together.  It was explained that the people sitting on the floor were living in Honduras for the purpose of serving these little girls with our lives because that what God called us to do.  It was said that we were going to wash the girls’ feet whether they wanted it or not, as a last act of the service we had all given together. 

I got to thinking about Christ obviously.  Some of us have heard about the foot washing at the last supper so many times that its just part of the story.  I got to thinking about how Christ must have loved the owners of the feet he washed.  I got to thinking about how He pursues people.  I got to thinking about how much I care for these little girls down here, and how that care doesn’t hold water compared to the love Christ has for us. 

So we didn’t wash feet because they were dirty, but because little girls need love.  We have for the last year tried to follow Christ’s example of self-denying service, and we ended our time together in the same manner. 

 We need a lot of prayer.  The Botkins are in the states for 3 months.  They are a huge part of what is going on down here, and there will be a hole until they return.  Natali is departing for the states on Sunday.  There aren’t enough words to talk about the work she has done in this corner of the world.  Needless to say, she will be missed in any place that she is not.  Courtney leaves out the following Friday.  She has spent nearly 3 months here and has been kind to girls and uplifting to the staff. 

Please pray for the remaining staff as we are working on slim numbers.

Also, we have a new little girl.  She is 13.  I can’t spell her name and I don’t know her story.  God will know who you’re talking about though when you pray. 

Adult Movie Night

We have an amazing staff.  On Mondays we have been having movie night for the staff.  We call it "Adult Movie Night" as opposed to the childrens' movie night that goes on Friday nights.  It sounds dirty, and thats why we like it. 

I think I'm going to shave my beard.  I like touching it while I talk or pretend to think, but it looks rediculous.  I miss my chin.

So I read a verse in John chapter 6 the other night that is awesome.  Basically, the story is that Jesus is going about his ministry, and he has alot of followers. Then, Jesus begins talking about eating his flesh and drinking his blood.  Most of the people following Jesus around left after this conversation.  Then it says that Jesus looked at Simon Peter and asked if he was going to leave as well.  Peter answers, "To whom shall we go?" 

I like that.  I hope that my life will become so dependent on Christ that this will be my response.  That even in poor situations, in bad times, at what seem like rediculous times, I will rely on Christ and Christ alone.  I don't just want Him to be my first priority, I want him to be my only priority.  I want to abandon enough other things in this world that it would be impossible to turn back even if I wanted to.  "Quien iremos?"

Thats the word bird. Back to the Italian Job with my homies.

64+ shoes.....DONE!

Sup yo?  Thank you to everybody who signed up to get a girl shoes for her birthday.  Another year, and we have all of the girls taken care of with extras wanting to help.  Now, if you wanted to get shoes but there were no more girls left, don't lose heart.  Chances are we will have new girls between now and next year's birthday shoe list.  Even this last week we had 2 new girls.  I'm waiting on shoe sizes but Amy Matthews has already claimed them.  But when  we get new girls I will post it and you can just on if you'd like. 

But thank you those who are participating.  I think its great how people are caring for these girls that would be otherwise forgotten.  Thank you for proving that they are significant and placing an interest in their lives and their happiness.

So Monday I head back to Honduras.  I've been home about 3 weeks.  I haven't worked a day.  This is a first for me.  But, God provided money for me, so I took it as a message to relax and get my head on straight before getting back on the front lines.  Its been a great time of rest, but I do miss my girls and my purposes in Honduras.  I find it strangely comforting how much of my life has been invested in Honduras over the last 2 years.

So, 2 requests now that the shoe list is done.  1, pray for me.  I'm a bum.  I want to focus on being more patient this trip.  I want to focus on letting Christ's love flow through me even when I'm frustrated or when situations aren't what I want.  I want to be more in tune with God.  I want to be dependent on God and his promises daily.  Please remember me and pray for me.

2, get me information on missions pastors.  If your church has a missions pastor and you're not connected with PTC, I'd like to talk to him.  Even if you know of a missions pastor but he's not at your church, I'd like to corner him sometime.  I'm hunting them down now.  If you are a missions pastor, watch your back.  I'm coming for you.

Reason being, we have a sweet ministry in Honduras.  God has blessed our pants off.  We have provision.  We are sitting in a community that is about to burst at the seams with people turning towards Christ.  We have little girls that need the love of Jesus.  We need Christian examples.  We want workers.  Project Jealous (tenative name, we have to sleep on it before its official) is actively seeking missionaries or long term prospects that are interested in spreading the Gospel to the corners of the Earth.  You know, like Jesus commanded us.  So if you know of a missions pastor that I can bother in order to have more long term missionaries loving on my girls in Honduras, let me know. 

As always, thanks for reading.  Stay classy San Diego.

Birthday Shoe List Round II

Hey guys.  So last year we got shoes together for all the girls at the farm.  Turns out Honduran shoes aren't made extremely well.  Our girls run through them pretty quickly.  So, we had folks from the States purchase shoes for a specific girl that we could give as a birthday present.  It was awesome.  They were all REALLY excited about it.  I figured we would try it again this year.  I think we can do sweet birthday presents two consecutive years without spoiling the girls.

We have a few more girls than last year.  I think we were around 24 last year and we're around 32 this year.  That means a few more folks have the opportunity to participate. 

Also, I have several of the girls that are specifically asking for converse shoes.  The basic, old school style.  Now, naturally I would say, "be happy with what you get."  But, as it is, Converse are cheaper.  I figured this might be easier on whoever is buying them, so I will indicate which girls would really like converse.  Its most of them actually.

I will update the list as quickly as possible so that as soon as a girl has a birthday-shoe-buyer, they will be off the list.  Just let me know if you want to play.  You can reach me on here, facebook, at Bheath09@gmail.com or for a few more weeks at 770-616-6673.

CONVERSE LIST
Norma            January 1        36       (DONE)
Brenda            February 8     6 1/2    (DONE)
Paola              March 12        30-31   (DONE)
Mileidy          April 8            9           (DONE)
Stefania          March 26        36       (DONE)
Ana                March 31        37       (DONE)
Katy               April 10          35       (DONE)
Kami              April 18          32       (DONE)
Darlin            April 18           34        (DONE)
Gabby            April 27          36       (DONE)
Angela           April 27          38       (DONE)
Kim               June 13            22-23 (DONE)
Carina            August 7         34      (DONE)
Jenny(Jirafa) August 17        7-8    (DONE)
Kenia             August 18       36     (DONE)
Marie Elena   September 25  32    (DONE)
Roxana          September 27  37    (DONE)
Belquis          October 4        36    (DONE)
Yensy            October 27      33    (DONE)
Carmen         November 4     30    (DONE)
Cinthia          November 12   39    (DONE)
Doris             November 19   36   (DONE)
Lucy              December 24   33   (DONE)
Alicia            December 31    33   (DONE)


Tennis Shoe List
Jenny Alexa    February 14          8     (DONE)
Lizzy               March 15             38

Sonia               February 27        38    (DONE)

Cruz                May 4                  ??

Yessenia          September 8        35   (DONE)

Mary                September 10     33    (DONE)

Rosy                 August 30           36    (DONE)

Carla                November 16     12 months  (DONE)

Esmeralda         December 14     36    (DONE)

By the way, alot of these sizes are in what I think is Internation Sizing.  I will find the American sized numbers soon.  I'm lazy.

Scorpion Hunting

Not long ago, I watched a scorpion crawl into a crack where the ceiling meets the wall in my bedroom.  I have a gun beside me.  Its really just a waiting game now.  I decided to write something while I wait. 

I’ve written a few of these recently but then I erase them.  I decide they’re either too serious, too self-promoting, or too critical of others.  I’m assuming the position of apathy tonight as I wait on my scorpion, so I hope to avoid some of those things.  I’ve decided not to use the word “blog” by the way.  Every time I do, a tiny part of my soul dies.

I fell on my motorcycle the other day going through some trails.  The bruise on my leg reminds me how adventurous I am.

I’ve listened to several David Platt sermons in the last few weeks.  One of the biggest challenges when coming to Honduras was that I was leaving my church services and bible study groups.  It was hard when I first left.  But so I was listening to a podcast.  This guy is a good preacher, but what is really special about him is where his focus appears to be.  Its not the audience at all.  Its Christ.  I wish I could be as focused on Christ as he is.  I don’t think that’s a bad thing to say.  I prayed for spiritual examples not long ago.  I even made a blog about the topic then deleted it.

School is going well.  I don’t get to teach much at all anymore.  An English class if I have the time.  I mostly stay busy with administrative things now.  Its interesting, but I do miss teaching.  We’re trying new schedules, moving around teachers, buying textbooks and streamlining discipline.  Its difficult sometimes to look at the bigger picture.  It makes me worry about if my girls are going to be ready for college.  I think we’re doing well, but I want to continue to get better. 

I had a neat conversation with one of the girls who has neat conversations.  I was talking to her about college.  So I say, “If you go to college, you can make a significantly larger pay check one day.”  And she replies, “So what?”  How beautiful.  We place so much emphasis on money.  Rich people kill themselves all the time.   But so a guy living off of $2,400 a year is talking about money with an orphaned little girl in the poorest country in Central America.  She reminded him that money doesn’t make a person happy. 

I convinced her that if she went to college, she could probably get a job doing something that she really enjoyed.  Then I told her if she didn’t like college, drop out after the first year and sell tortillas in El Salvador. 

Still no scorpion.  My eyelids are heavy.  If you pray for me, pray that I could be more dependent on Christ.  If you don’t pray for me…. (I thought of 3 humorous ways to end this sentence.)

HELP WITH TEXTBOOKS!!!

Hello all.  I haven´t made any blogs in a while.  Really, I got sick and couldn´t think of anything else to write about, so i didn´t write anything at all.  Thumper´s mother would have been so proud of me.  But I need some help.

Ok, we are doing some crazy awesome things at the school.  I have 5 staffmembers at the school including myself.  I have bilingual teachers that schools in the states only dream about.  We are teaching Spanish, English, Math, History, Geography, Computers, Reading, Reading Comprehension, Sciences, Bible......... among other things.  Things are really falling into place in ways that they never have before.  But i lack a few things.  Primarily books.

Now, I need 2 types of books.  First, textbooks.  I am desperate for a good would geography textbook.  Middle School grades preferably.  Can anybody help me with that?  Point me in a direction to buy one?  Talk to people at your local school?  Potentially annoy people at a private school until they want to send a textbook to my 501c3 non profit organization?  Maybe if you live close to Strong Rock in Locust Grove.  I need some help people.

Second, I´m looking for reading books in Spanish.  Really from preschool up to highschool ages.  I´m not quite so desperate about these, but I really want them.  Most of my girls are bilingual, but we don´t have many spanish resources.  If anybody knows where I can get my hands on some spanish books, it would probably bring me to tears.

Ok, if people help me find these things, I promise to be a better missionary and make more blogs.  Let me know.

Exciting for me, maybe not for you.

Whew.  Sometimes I don´t have very much internet.  It doesn´t really bother me anymore.  A guy can only shop for motorcycles on line for so long before he has to go live life.  But, I still like to use it at an excuse as to why I don´t have more blogs.  Apathy might be a more realistic reason, but I´m not going to tell you that.

So, lot of stuff that I think is interesting but you might not.  Friday was a big day.  We had a new student at the farm who is not one of the girls in the ministry.  This is the first time that has happened.  I´m pretty pumped about it.  It might not seem that crazy awesome, but its a big step in the right direction.  Eventually, we want to use the school to give a bilingual education to girl in our area and as a high school accredidation center for boys and adults.  So the branching out has officially started.  We are doing things down here.  Since the girl is not part of the ministry, I can tell you her name.  Belkis.  Please pray for her.  There are going to be bumps in the road, we hope she will be the first of many girls in the community to get a good education and investment in her future from our school.

Second, I walked around with the pastor about a week ago.  It was pretty cool.  Half way because my spanish is finally good enough to understand him and the people in the community.  Second, because it gave me alot of ideas.  We met some people who need to learn to read.  In the months to come, we´re going to be planning to start teaching accredidation classes and reading classes for adults in Yamaranguila.  Saying that makes me feel more like a missionary.  So I am looking for a few things.  I need some bibles in spanish that is a simple translation to use.  Think ¨the message¨ compared to ¨KJV¨.  Only in spanish.  Second, I need to find some tips on how to teach people how to read, (preferably adults).  If you teach first grade, I want to talk with you.  And thirdly, if anybody wanted to move to Honduras and teach people how to read, now is a great chance.  I said it before, but we are doing things down here. 

So thats about it I reckon.  Pray for us.  Times are good, but no doubt its because we have a good God and faithful people praying for us. 

And to Josh and Allison, I hope you have a great baby shower this weekend.  I wish I could be there.  Can´t wait to hold your daughter in a few weeks. 

Jeremiah 29:13

I´m going to try to be more consistent with writting on here.  In fact, I´ve decided to do one blog per day for the next......10 years.  Ok, no, not really.  But I have decided to to one blog a day for today.  Vaya pues.

So I had this idea.  Its a little idea.  I get busy down here at the farm.  Not like ¨busy¨, but like, out of time.  So I´m doing alot of things, teaching alot of girls, telling alot of jokes, right?  Good things.  Then, I decide to pray when I´m not busy.  Or I might read my bible when I´m not busy.  But I found myself one night thinking ¨where are you God?¨  And I thought of this verse.  ¨You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.¨ Jeremiah 29:13.  Whats common is to try to let God have your extra time.  Or, to try and squeeze God into your over crowded schedule.  But rather, God wants us to pursue him with our whole heart.  This is the same intensity with which he pursues us.  And I don´t know, it just made me think, so I decided to share it.

We´re doing good at the farm.  We´re getting organized.  We´re getting better at doing what God has called us to do.  But pray for us if you will.  That our staff will be unified.  That our girls will search for God with their whole hearts.  That we can remove ourselves from situations and make Christ the center.

By His grace,
Ben Heath

Spock with a beard

My blogs seem to be getting somewhat more emotional and serious.  I'm currently in the process of ridding most emotions and seriousness from my life.  Like Spock with a beard.   I don't know how they get into my blogs though.  But, as always, I figure if it bothers anybody they won't read it.

So this was a short trip home.  I made it for 2 weeks.  I was banking on working about 10 days, but fell pretty short there.  Turns out little muscles and busy schedules lead to many days off.  I want to say that like an indian real quick.  Hold on.  "Little muscle......busy schedule.....many days off".  Ok.  But one really cool thing from this trip is how many people have been giving to me.  Now, I live with so many people that have nothing, I haven't been able to ask people for money in my time in Honduras.  I've just decided that if I needed money for something, I would learn to go without something else.  I still plan to venture down that path, but its still nice to recieve gifts.  I had a large amount of money in my ministry account that I wasn't planning on and don't know where it came from. Also, my church decided to sponsor me for what turns out to be about half of my yearly expenses.   So I just want to thank those people and those groups.  I also want to thank Rod and Betty Shearouse as their consistent contributions have helped me beyond what I can describe.

There are definite difficulties about my job.  I love my girls and am thankful for my calling, but its always hard to say good-bye to friends and families.  Its hard leaving soft beds, warm showers, and rooms with no scorpions.  Its hard leaving friends and churches that are in English.  But it makes a really big difference when money isn't something that I have to worry about. When I can take the good and the bad without checking my wallet.  Through my ministry thus far, God has taken care of me.  He has given me provision beyond what I could imagine.  Thank you to those who have helped me financially.  Moreso, thank you for your prayers and for the prayers for my ministry and my girls.

By His grace,
Ben Heath

Wiggidy What You Say?

I decided not to stick with my last blog.  I meant it, but I think I portrayed my thoughts in a bit too much of a negative light.  What I really meant to say is that if you feel God is calling you to serve for any amount of time in a foreign country, personal safety should not be a real concern.  Choosing to follow Christ means being less of a servant and more of a slave.  If He calls you to serve, trust that He is in control and has the specifics figured out.  And if that means that harm might befall you, "to live is Christ".  There hasn't been a time in the last 2 years that I have been worried to return to Honduras.  In fact, whenever trouble turns up, it makes me desire more to be in Honduras with the girls that God has called me to serve.  And if I'm ever robbed or beaten up or mocked or poor....er, then that will be because I have chosen to serve Christ as whatever the cost.

Pero yo pienso que mis palabras estaban verdad.  Honduras es un pais demasiado hermosa a faltar por algunas reazones.  Tambien, el llamado a servir y amar mis chicas es demasiado fuerte a faltar.  No estoy serviendo gringos, pero para el ministerio, oculpamos mas amigos y menos enemigos.

Regardless of the Outcome

One of the most interesting stories in the Bible comes from John chapter 5.  The story picks up with Jesus in Jerusalem at a pool called Bethsaida.  At certain times of the day, the pool would be stirred and disable people would enter the waters in hopes of being healed.  We’re told of a man sitting by the pool who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years.  For longer than I’ve been alive, this man had been unable to do most functions in life.  Work, travel, provide for himself, have a family….. all of these things this man was incapable of doing.

So Jesus walks up to the man and asks him, “Do you want to get well?”  I find this to be a very profound question.  The ontological God of the universe is standing in front of this invalid who basically has no life.  The being in which all other beings have their existence is talking to his creation.  The God who breathed the stars into existence and wrapped himself in flesh, who knew the hairs on this man’s head and knew every thought he ever had thought, asks what appeared to be a silly question.  I think it was a question Jesus knew the answer to long before he was in Jerusalem.  I don’t think the question was for the Christ to obtain information, but rather for the invalid’s sake.  “Do you want to get well?”

The question means that there was a choice.  We forget that sometimes.  Some folks chose to be sick.  Sometimes people don’t want out of the hole they are in.  Giving all you have to love somebody doesn’t mean that that love will be reciprocated.  It doesn’t mean that they’ll accept your help.  It doesn’t mean that they’ll accept your Christ.  For Christians, you don’t do what is right to get a result.  You do what is right because it is right.  You offer help because you’ve been helped.  You love because Christ loves you.  You die because the man you follow was nailed to a cross.  Regardless of the outcome. 

 This has been a rough couple of weeks at the farm.  We’ve had a few girls run away for no apparent reason.  Not out of anger, not out of depression, not for any immediate situational cause.  Part of me roots for these girls.  For whatever reason, they were not satisfied.  Yet, instead of sitting in their discontent, they got up.  I admonish their bravery to search for happiness instead of accept whatever else was handed to them.  But the bigger part of me is broken.  These girls took for granted what had.  They looked outside of the fences when they were standing in green grass all along.  In a community stricken by poverty and need, these girls traded their security and care for the freedom of the streets.  They failed to see the happiness in front of them.  So I said goodbye today to a couple of girls that I have loved as my family for the last year and a half.  They said goodbye to the family they have known for the last seven years and the woman they call “mama”.

God is in control, and even when we don’t understand it, He is good.  He alone is good.  So we’ll keep doing what we do down here.  We’ll keep feeding, clothing, protecting, and educating little girls in Honduras.  More than that, we’ll continue serving them with our lives and dying to personal ambition.  We’ll continue to give, continue to strain, continue to sacrifice so as to give these girls the love and attention that all little girls deserve.  We’ll continue to love them even though they won’t fully understand it.  To God be the glory.

Just checking in

I have not made a post in a while.  I am alive.  We are busy.  We are waiting on 2 new girls to arrivc and have 5 girls in chicken pocks.  What a welcome party, right?  I thought it was slightly funny to walk in the Pams house this morning and find 4 tiny girls sitting in their diapers watching Chicken Little.  Turns out the best way to fight chicken pocks is with nudity.  Yet, when a 17 year old came in with chicken pocks, I decided to get out of the house.  We dont need that down here.

On a last note, I cannot find the apostrophy button on this computer so I cannot use contractions or possesive s.  Its one of those things you have to give up when you go onto the mission field.  I will have a more legit blog in the future.