Hey yo. Long time no talk. I'm going to write a short blog.
So, I'll update on ministry and school stuff in the next week or so. Tonight, I want to talk about the Botkin Soup Kitchen and some help that I need. There are about 9 children who come every night to the Botkin's house that I am sleeping at. They like food. I was making sandwiches, until I figured out I was going to be bankrupt making 10 sandwiches every night. So now we do rice bags most nights and sandwiches on the weekend according to my budget needs.
Also, there is a 6th grader in the family who is graduating from primary school. The mother has been by to ask me for a LARGE amount of money. Well, large for Honduran single mothers or broke missionaries. Its 800 lempira, or about 40 dollars.
So here is how you can help. If you would like to get some food money coming in for these kids, you can. Its not going through the PTC minisry or has anything to do with our girls, but it is a need. These kids don't have shoes or clean clothes which all of our girls have. But I'll be here for the next 7 weeks and the Botkins will be here until Jesus comes back. So if you'd like to help the food kitchen, let me know.
Also, the kid that needs 40 dollars. I told the mother that I would ask some of my rich american friends. I said that if nobody else wanted to help her, I would pay for it. Which I plan to. But, it is a large sacrifice for me. This is me asking if anybody wants to donate 40 bucks so a kid can graduate. Or, if you wanted to donate a little, i'll cover the rest. Let me know.
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27
Monday, September 3, 2012
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
"that he lay his life down for his friends"
Stressed, so I'm going to ramble. Its been a rough day. Not frustrating, more difficult.
I keep thinking of moments that I won't forget. I met my first niece last October. I missed being home when she was born. She was a month early and I got there 2 days late. I remember seeing the first time when she opened her eyes. I met my second niece in June of this year. I missed her being born and she was a month old before I could get back. I remember hearing her cry for the first time. It wasn't a scream. She was sad. It was beautiful. I remember thinking about how my brother and his wife are going to take care of her when she is sad. I won't forget these moments if I live to be a hundred.
I had another one today. I can't explain all of it. I picked up a girl who ran away. I had been looking for her for several hours. I was wet and cold because it was raining. When I found her, she was wet and cold as well. I thought she would be angry. I thought she would run. She was sad and asked me for help. It broke my heart.
I think about these girls. It makes me angry sometimes that I'm one of the best options they have. They should have parents who fight for them, but they don't. I don't know how to help them most of the time. I commit whole-heartedly to the school, because I think an education is the best way I can help them. I wish I could fight for them like a good father would. I wish I could take care of them like my brothers take care of their daughters. Some of the little ones, I'm old enough to be their dad. I clean a 2 year old's nose every day when I get to the farm, because I think that a good father wouldn't let his daughter have snot on her face.
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" -John 15:13.
People keep asking me how much longer I'm going to be in Honduras, like I have other plans. I'm not going to leave my girls. Not for money or security or a profession or respect or a family of my own. If I never amount to anything, but I can make these girls feel important, thats enough for me.
I keep thinking of moments that I won't forget. I met my first niece last October. I missed being home when she was born. She was a month early and I got there 2 days late. I remember seeing the first time when she opened her eyes. I met my second niece in June of this year. I missed her being born and she was a month old before I could get back. I remember hearing her cry for the first time. It wasn't a scream. She was sad. It was beautiful. I remember thinking about how my brother and his wife are going to take care of her when she is sad. I won't forget these moments if I live to be a hundred.
I had another one today. I can't explain all of it. I picked up a girl who ran away. I had been looking for her for several hours. I was wet and cold because it was raining. When I found her, she was wet and cold as well. I thought she would be angry. I thought she would run. She was sad and asked me for help. It broke my heart.
I think about these girls. It makes me angry sometimes that I'm one of the best options they have. They should have parents who fight for them, but they don't. I don't know how to help them most of the time. I commit whole-heartedly to the school, because I think an education is the best way I can help them. I wish I could fight for them like a good father would. I wish I could take care of them like my brothers take care of their daughters. Some of the little ones, I'm old enough to be their dad. I clean a 2 year old's nose every day when I get to the farm, because I think that a good father wouldn't let his daughter have snot on her face.
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" -John 15:13.
People keep asking me how much longer I'm going to be in Honduras, like I have other plans. I'm not going to leave my girls. Not for money or security or a profession or respect or a family of my own. If I never amount to anything, but I can make these girls feel important, thats enough for me.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Update from the Coal Mine
Whew. Alright, I'm not really even going to apologize for only writing about the school anymore. My primary way of showing the love of Christ to these girls is through giving them an education. So, thats what I do and thats all I can generally think of when making these things.
We made IEP's. Or, the Honduran equivalent. One of the big problems that we run into down here is girls that are behind with their education. Sometimes WAY behind. Sometimes too far behind. It worries me because I want their futures to be better than their pasts. So, I sat down with teachers and girls and we made 6 month educational schedules graphing their official accredidation program. This was trickier than it sounds because each of the girls do their own work-at-your-own-pace book and are in different lessons. This way, we as the teachers will be able to hold the girl's accountable for their progress and be able to identify problems quicker before they get big. It also helps us as the school staff to keep girls on a pace to graduate highschool when they are around 18. I also included behavioral and educational notes per individual girl. I did this so all of the teachers and future teachers can be aware of the reoccuring difficulties and be united on how to approach them. This put me more at ease. It looks good, but more important than appearance, I think it is going to be effective.
I've been teaching again. For about 4 months or so I was only administrating. It turned out good, because we had alot of organizing and planning to do, but I missed teaching. I've been covering math for the 4-6 grade as well as the girls in 7th and higher. I've also been teaching a Honduran history class and a world history class. In the afternoons I teach an English class focusing on reading and writing and verb usage. They are all going great. I really enjoy teaching.
Teaching gives me a different perspective on what we can do better at the school. This is great because we are really making progress through identifying problems and making the system better. Its a little stressful though to only think about problems all day. I'm about 5 weeks in on identifying problems, and though we are making headway, it weighs on a person. I look forward to a day when I can focus on maintaining a great system instead of fixing things. I'm not sure that that day will ever actually exist, but its a Carribean island in my mind.
A few things we need. I'm focusing on math this week. I could use all kinds of math books. The way we generally do math is we use one book and put problems on the board for the girls. Sometimes, the book is in English but the class is in Spanish, so a set wouldn't help. I've been using Georgia Performance Standards the last month and a half to do great-sweeping reviews until Mr. Jeremiah returns. But I could really use a book of geometry, algebra I and II, pre-algebra, and even some lower grade level text books. I don't like alot of what I see here, so I would prefer some from the states. So if you are a teacher, know teachers, and contacts with teachers, or have ever had a teacher that you could bother, give him or her a sob story for me. This would be a huge help.
Keep praying for us down here.
We made IEP's. Or, the Honduran equivalent. One of the big problems that we run into down here is girls that are behind with their education. Sometimes WAY behind. Sometimes too far behind. It worries me because I want their futures to be better than their pasts. So, I sat down with teachers and girls and we made 6 month educational schedules graphing their official accredidation program. This was trickier than it sounds because each of the girls do their own work-at-your-own-pace book and are in different lessons. This way, we as the teachers will be able to hold the girl's accountable for their progress and be able to identify problems quicker before they get big. It also helps us as the school staff to keep girls on a pace to graduate highschool when they are around 18. I also included behavioral and educational notes per individual girl. I did this so all of the teachers and future teachers can be aware of the reoccuring difficulties and be united on how to approach them. This put me more at ease. It looks good, but more important than appearance, I think it is going to be effective.
I've been teaching again. For about 4 months or so I was only administrating. It turned out good, because we had alot of organizing and planning to do, but I missed teaching. I've been covering math for the 4-6 grade as well as the girls in 7th and higher. I've also been teaching a Honduran history class and a world history class. In the afternoons I teach an English class focusing on reading and writing and verb usage. They are all going great. I really enjoy teaching.
Teaching gives me a different perspective on what we can do better at the school. This is great because we are really making progress through identifying problems and making the system better. Its a little stressful though to only think about problems all day. I'm about 5 weeks in on identifying problems, and though we are making headway, it weighs on a person. I look forward to a day when I can focus on maintaining a great system instead of fixing things. I'm not sure that that day will ever actually exist, but its a Carribean island in my mind.
A few things we need. I'm focusing on math this week. I could use all kinds of math books. The way we generally do math is we use one book and put problems on the board for the girls. Sometimes, the book is in English but the class is in Spanish, so a set wouldn't help. I've been using Georgia Performance Standards the last month and a half to do great-sweeping reviews until Mr. Jeremiah returns. But I could really use a book of geometry, algebra I and II, pre-algebra, and even some lower grade level text books. I don't like alot of what I see here, so I would prefer some from the states. So if you are a teacher, know teachers, and contacts with teachers, or have ever had a teacher that you could bother, give him or her a sob story for me. This would be a huge help.
Keep praying for us down here.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Slowing down a bit.
I have a lot of stuff to talk about. I have alot of stuff going on down here. It feels good. Mostly its all school things. Now that we have things semi-under control, we're branching out, adding new education paths, forming IEP type plans for individuals, organizing discipline, setting behavioral and educational consequences,......the list goes on.
But I don't want to talk about that.
Today was a great day. I got to teach. I taught two math classes, a Honduran history class, an ancient world history class, and an English class. Thats the way I get to show love down here. I operate under the idea that the message Christ and the love of Christ go hand in hand. So thats how I get to show Christ's love. I really enjoy the way He lets me show it.
I also got to administer the school. I talked with my teachers and had opportunities to serve them as they do their jobs. Its such a lovely relationship. I never wanted to be the boss of anybody. And while I'm officially in charge of four teachers, I try not to be a boss. My plan is to serve my teachers and hold them accountable as they teach my girls. They do such a wonderful job. My girls are getting an AMAZING education because of the teachers who work for me. Its beautiful when it works out right. Today, it just worked out right.
Then after school, I went and sat in front of the kitchen. For about an hour I held the most adorable 4 year old in the world and fought her away from writting on my shoes or stepping on parts of my body that would hurt. I talked with a group of girls in Spanish for about an hour. We talked about how I was going to start working out so I could intimidate their boyfriends when they are older. We talked about the past. About why I deserve to be called "Doctor" Ben (8 pigs, 1 goat, and 1 human delivered or facilitated). We laughed about stories from the past. Its strange that I've been here long enough to laugh about stories in the past told in Spanish.
Then I came home (or to the Botkins' home actually). I stopped for some sliced ham on the way. Before I could get my motorcycle cut off, there were 4 kids on the porch. I made sandwiches for them and talked about what they did at school today. After their sandwiches, we talked some more over caramels and gum while they poured dirt on my chonchitos (little piggies [toes....come on]). I have wash my feet before going to bed.
Its just been nice to slow down. Everything is not perfect. Tomorrow will be busy and things will not go according to plan. But we serve a really good God who has it all under control.
But I don't want to talk about that.
Today was a great day. I got to teach. I taught two math classes, a Honduran history class, an ancient world history class, and an English class. Thats the way I get to show love down here. I operate under the idea that the message Christ and the love of Christ go hand in hand. So thats how I get to show Christ's love. I really enjoy the way He lets me show it.
I also got to administer the school. I talked with my teachers and had opportunities to serve them as they do their jobs. Its such a lovely relationship. I never wanted to be the boss of anybody. And while I'm officially in charge of four teachers, I try not to be a boss. My plan is to serve my teachers and hold them accountable as they teach my girls. They do such a wonderful job. My girls are getting an AMAZING education because of the teachers who work for me. Its beautiful when it works out right. Today, it just worked out right.
Then after school, I went and sat in front of the kitchen. For about an hour I held the most adorable 4 year old in the world and fought her away from writting on my shoes or stepping on parts of my body that would hurt. I talked with a group of girls in Spanish for about an hour. We talked about how I was going to start working out so I could intimidate their boyfriends when they are older. We talked about the past. About why I deserve to be called "Doctor" Ben (8 pigs, 1 goat, and 1 human delivered or facilitated). We laughed about stories from the past. Its strange that I've been here long enough to laugh about stories in the past told in Spanish.
Then I came home (or to the Botkins' home actually). I stopped for some sliced ham on the way. Before I could get my motorcycle cut off, there were 4 kids on the porch. I made sandwiches for them and talked about what they did at school today. After their sandwiches, we talked some more over caramels and gum while they poured dirt on my chonchitos (little piggies [toes....come on]). I have wash my feet before going to bed.
Its just been nice to slow down. Everything is not perfect. Tomorrow will be busy and things will not go according to plan. But we serve a really good God who has it all under control.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Feet
Lets talk about feet. We try to keep a working list of abilities of staff members at the farm. Lists like, “This person can’t do vomit.” Or “this person can handle blood.” One of the things I’m alright with is feet. Not in a creepy way, but in a soap and water kind of way. One day last week, a 4 year old was saying that her feet hurt. She had been wearing rain boots without socks and had rubbed a blister. Well, there were a few layers of dirt and grime before we could get to the blister. I felt useful cleaning that little girl’s feet.
The next day, I walked up to Mrs. Pam’s house to find Courtney outside looking sick. I asked her what was wrong, and she said to walk inside. Another little girl had been wearing her rain boots for a LONG time without socks. She had popped her tootsies out, and it was rank. I don’t smell very well, but it smacked me in the nose holes.
A few days later, I heard Natali talking about a foot washing. I thought this was purely hygienic. In the past we’ve had a lice war where for several hours adults pulled lice. I figured this was a battle against horrible smelling feet. I was ready. I was going to be Maximus Aurelia of slaughtering foot grime. I was going to taunt bad foot hygiene as it was annihilated and made an example of for all of its friends.
That’s not what was going on.
What was really happening was a ceremony. We had candles lit, and benches in an L shape around where the staff was sitting with towels and water. If this sounds strange, its because it was. It was the last night that the staff that we’ve had for the last year would be together. It was explained that the people sitting on the floor were living in Honduras for the purpose of serving these little girls with our lives because that what God called us to do. It was said that we were going to wash the girls’ feet whether they wanted it or not, as a last act of the service we had all given together.
I got to thinking about Christ obviously. Some of us have heard about the foot washing at the last supper so many times that its just part of the story. I got to thinking about how Christ must have loved the owners of the feet he washed. I got to thinking about how He pursues people. I got to thinking about how much I care for these little girls down here, and how that care doesn’t hold water compared to the love Christ has for us.
So we didn’t wash feet because they were dirty, but because little girls need love. We have for the last year tried to follow Christ’s example of self-denying service, and we ended our time together in the same manner.
We need a lot of prayer. The Botkins are in the states for 3 months. They are a huge part of what is going on down here, and there will be a hole until they return. Natali is departing for the states on Sunday. There aren’t enough words to talk about the work she has done in this corner of the world. Needless to say, she will be missed in any place that she is not. Courtney leaves out the following Friday. She has spent nearly 3 months here and has been kind to girls and uplifting to the staff.
Please pray for the remaining staff as we are working on slim numbers.
Also, we have a new little girl. She is 13. I can’t spell her name and I don’t know her story. God will know who you’re talking about though when you pray.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Adult Movie Night
We have an amazing staff. On Mondays we have been having movie night for the staff. We call it "Adult Movie Night" as opposed to the childrens' movie night that goes on Friday nights. It sounds dirty, and thats why we like it.
I think I'm going to shave my beard. I like touching it while I talk or pretend to think, but it looks rediculous. I miss my chin.
So I read a verse in John chapter 6 the other night that is awesome. Basically, the story is that Jesus is going about his ministry, and he has alot of followers. Then, Jesus begins talking about eating his flesh and drinking his blood. Most of the people following Jesus around left after this conversation. Then it says that Jesus looked at Simon Peter and asked if he was going to leave as well. Peter answers, "To whom shall we go?"
I like that. I hope that my life will become so dependent on Christ that this will be my response. That even in poor situations, in bad times, at what seem like rediculous times, I will rely on Christ and Christ alone. I don't just want Him to be my first priority, I want him to be my only priority. I want to abandon enough other things in this world that it would be impossible to turn back even if I wanted to. "Quien iremos?"
Thats the word bird. Back to the Italian Job with my homies.
I think I'm going to shave my beard. I like touching it while I talk or pretend to think, but it looks rediculous. I miss my chin.
So I read a verse in John chapter 6 the other night that is awesome. Basically, the story is that Jesus is going about his ministry, and he has alot of followers. Then, Jesus begins talking about eating his flesh and drinking his blood. Most of the people following Jesus around left after this conversation. Then it says that Jesus looked at Simon Peter and asked if he was going to leave as well. Peter answers, "To whom shall we go?"
I like that. I hope that my life will become so dependent on Christ that this will be my response. That even in poor situations, in bad times, at what seem like rediculous times, I will rely on Christ and Christ alone. I don't just want Him to be my first priority, I want him to be my only priority. I want to abandon enough other things in this world that it would be impossible to turn back even if I wanted to. "Quien iremos?"
Thats the word bird. Back to the Italian Job with my homies.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
64+ shoes.....DONE!
Sup yo? Thank you to everybody who signed up to get a girl shoes for her birthday. Another year, and we have all of the girls taken care of with extras wanting to help. Now, if you wanted to get shoes but there were no more girls left, don't lose heart. Chances are we will have new girls between now and next year's birthday shoe list. Even this last week we had 2 new girls. I'm waiting on shoe sizes but Amy Matthews has already claimed them. But when we get new girls I will post it and you can just on if you'd like.
But thank you those who are participating. I think its great how people are caring for these girls that would be otherwise forgotten. Thank you for proving that they are significant and placing an interest in their lives and their happiness.
So Monday I head back to Honduras. I've been home about 3 weeks. I haven't worked a day. This is a first for me. But, God provided money for me, so I took it as a message to relax and get my head on straight before getting back on the front lines. Its been a great time of rest, but I do miss my girls and my purposes in Honduras. I find it strangely comforting how much of my life has been invested in Honduras over the last 2 years.
So, 2 requests now that the shoe list is done. 1, pray for me. I'm a bum. I want to focus on being more patient this trip. I want to focus on letting Christ's love flow through me even when I'm frustrated or when situations aren't what I want. I want to be more in tune with God. I want to be dependent on God and his promises daily. Please remember me and pray for me.
2, get me information on missions pastors. If your church has a missions pastor and you're not connected with PTC, I'd like to talk to him. Even if you know of a missions pastor but he's not at your church, I'd like to corner him sometime. I'm hunting them down now. If you are a missions pastor, watch your back. I'm coming for you.
Reason being, we have a sweet ministry in Honduras. God has blessed our pants off. We have provision. We are sitting in a community that is about to burst at the seams with people turning towards Christ. We have little girls that need the love of Jesus. We need Christian examples. We want workers. Project Jealous (tenative name, we have to sleep on it before its official) is actively seeking missionaries or long term prospects that are interested in spreading the Gospel to the corners of the Earth. You know, like Jesus commanded us. So if you know of a missions pastor that I can bother in order to have more long term missionaries loving on my girls in Honduras, let me know.
As always, thanks for reading. Stay classy San Diego.
But thank you those who are participating. I think its great how people are caring for these girls that would be otherwise forgotten. Thank you for proving that they are significant and placing an interest in their lives and their happiness.
So Monday I head back to Honduras. I've been home about 3 weeks. I haven't worked a day. This is a first for me. But, God provided money for me, so I took it as a message to relax and get my head on straight before getting back on the front lines. Its been a great time of rest, but I do miss my girls and my purposes in Honduras. I find it strangely comforting how much of my life has been invested in Honduras over the last 2 years.
So, 2 requests now that the shoe list is done. 1, pray for me. I'm a bum. I want to focus on being more patient this trip. I want to focus on letting Christ's love flow through me even when I'm frustrated or when situations aren't what I want. I want to be more in tune with God. I want to be dependent on God and his promises daily. Please remember me and pray for me.
2, get me information on missions pastors. If your church has a missions pastor and you're not connected with PTC, I'd like to talk to him. Even if you know of a missions pastor but he's not at your church, I'd like to corner him sometime. I'm hunting them down now. If you are a missions pastor, watch your back. I'm coming for you.
Reason being, we have a sweet ministry in Honduras. God has blessed our pants off. We have provision. We are sitting in a community that is about to burst at the seams with people turning towards Christ. We have little girls that need the love of Jesus. We need Christian examples. We want workers. Project Jealous (tenative name, we have to sleep on it before its official) is actively seeking missionaries or long term prospects that are interested in spreading the Gospel to the corners of the Earth. You know, like Jesus commanded us. So if you know of a missions pastor that I can bother in order to have more long term missionaries loving on my girls in Honduras, let me know.
As always, thanks for reading. Stay classy San Diego.
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